


no one has 20 dogs, and it's horrible

by orphan_account



Category: Critical Hit (Podcast)
Genre: Body Horror, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 12:44:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2151204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>fic prompt: write abt ket turning all raven-y and thinking hes gonna be a monster and hurt his friends</p><p>"It had gone like this:</p><p>Something had happened to Ket. Something had gone wrong inside of him that made the feathers come back, that gave him claws, and teeth sharp enough to bite through his own lips.</p><p>He had said something about The Raven Queen’s soul, about how he had won it and how now he was loosing control of it.</p><p>He had said he would figure it out."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

At first you hardly notice. Your nails start growing darker and longer and _pointier_ than usual, your teeth feel uncomfortably sharp in your own mouth.

It's not so worrying, you've had much stranger happen to you after getting a new soul. The problem here is more that theses no new soul to relate this too.

And when you check? It's not the bird, like you suspected. The only soul you really have any trouble controlling at all is the Raven Queen's, and that's nothing new. The thing is powerful, too powerful for you to get a good grip on, but it's never caused you any problems. You just weren't able to tap into it's full power was all.

 

It's concerning, but nothing bad, so for the time being you decide to just keep an eye on it.

-

It gets worse.

It's in a fight, Torq does that thing he does with his divine power when you get hurt and you feel something  _grow_ ,you're not sure what, but your skin won't stop crawling.

 

Later, when you get the chance to check, there are tiny, downy feathers on your hands, up your arms, behind your ears. They're still small enough to hide, but concerning enough to worry about. And your fingernails are more like talons, now, too. They're too thick and it's too painful to trim them so you hide them under your gloves.

 

There's nothing wrong with the bird's soul, and Gai says he doesn't know what's going on. The Raven Queen is really only the lead you have. So you send out a prayer asking  _why_ , and go to sleep hoping for an answer.

-

Now that you're paying attention, you can see it slipping out of control. It doesn't happen every time you use a spell, but every time you tap into one of your souls, _hers_ slips a little more out of your control.

And for with every little bit you loose the feathers come in just a little bit more.

You know Trelle, at least,has picked up that you're nervous, if not seen the feathers herself.

She doesn't bring it up and you don’t, either.

-

You don't think there are any documented cases of a mortal gaining control of a goddesses soul, or even part of one. You have no frame of reference.

You wonder if she knew this would happen all along, that you wouldn't be able to handle it. Maybe she meant it as a boon for the battle and always meant to take it back. But why now?

 

You send out a prayer, you ask to to please,  _take it or leave it, but don’t put me through this._

-

Then there's the one , really horrifying moment where you loose it completely.

 

It's during a fight, as these things tend to be. You'd been avoiding using your vestiges as much as was possible but you can't really put up much of a fight without them.

It's the Onyx Queen that causes it, you're focused on her and not the Raven Queen and before you know it you've lost your grip, your chest feels tight and your vision goes dark.

 

It's only for a moment, and when you come too you can feel feathers getting smaller and the monsters are dead and you're also breathing heavy with teeth bared ready to take down with your wand pointed at Randus's back.

 

So, not good.

Not good at all.

-

No one brings it up to you, not directly anyways _._

 

Randus asks if you're feeling alright, and you say, _yeah, of course, why do you ask,_ so he drops it. The other three don't ask, but they stare at you when they think you're not looking.

 

You don't know how much they saw before, but the down that was growing behind your ears before has moved its way back into your hair and your teeth feel too big for you mouth.

Your gloves don't even fit anymore, and your hands look far worse than then did when it was just the eagle's soul causing problems.

 

You're focused almost all the time now on keeping her soul in check. When you get a moment of peace from _that,_ you're praying, not just the Raven Queen now, but Asmodeus and every god you know that you think would spare a thought for you.

You haven’t lost control again, not like before,but your chest feels tight all the time now and you can't decide if it's from the soul or from worrying.

-

Sometimes when you wake up you feel the feathers recede from how long they'd grown in the night and you fear that you'd done something. The worst that you do is to yourself, the cuts in your palms are from your own nails and in your lips from your own teeth.

 

But still you wonder if Lolth has something to do with this. You haven't been so reluctant to sleep in a long time.

-

You make the choice two days later. There's no fight, no real trigger for it, you just slip up in controlling it, just for a moment.

 

And when you come too you're gripping hard enough to a tree to crack the bark in and breathing hard and they've all stopped to look at you. This time you _know_ they can see the feathers. You can feel them shrink back now that you're in control- it's all itchy and even a little painful now- although that's mostly where you've split your lip back open.

 

You look at them, say, “What? Keep going”

 

So they do, though not without glances back to you every now and then.

You're a danger, and you know it. You wonder if they do.

-

So that night you stay up and you write them a note; Trelle is on watch, Orem isn't watching you and you write.

You write that you don't know whats going on, that you're a danger right now,and really no use at all in a fight and please don't follow because you'll come back once you get this all sorted out.

Gods you hope you can get this all sorted out.

 

(You've been entertaining the thought a lot, these days, that maybe a creature with the soul of a god that cant contain it becomes a terrible monster. You're frightened that you're right)

 

 

 

You write the note trying hard to keep your heart stony because even getting too emotional is causing your control to slip these days. Then you lie down and wait until Trelle switches watch with Torq, and when he looks like he's about to nod off you quietly sit up, roll up your bedroll, and leave the note where you were.

 

 

And you sneak away.

Or you try, it's never been your greatest skill and you manage to break on what sounded to you a particularly dry branch not four steps out of camp.

It's Orem who turns his head, says,  _“_ Where do you think you're going?”

The look on his face that he's not going to let you go wherever it is.

But you planned for this

you say, _“_ the bathroom?”

He says,  _“_ with your bedroll?”

 

You were hoping he wouldn't notice

He says _“_ How about the truth”

So you say,  _“_ If its so important to you, then fine. The alley”

 

You don't like having to bluff , especially not like this, and not now. It makes you nervous and that makes your grip on the soul slip just a little- and that makes you panic and that makes it worse.

 

Orem moves to stand, but he notices the note first and brings it up with him.

He says, “you don't usually leave a note.”

 

And as he's reading it Torq turns around, says, “I think it's about time you tell us what's goin' on”

 

Now Trelle and Randus are stirring, too, and Orem says,”a danger?” at the same time Torq steps towards you ;you step back saying, _“_ no, no, don't. Let me go. Just let me go. _”_

 

And your chest is all tight and _oh, lovely, now you're panicking,_ and your vision is going dark, too, which makes it all worse. Randus and Trelle are up now and Orem is still talking but you can't really hear him over the sound of your own thoughts.

 

You look like a cornered animal, you know you do.

 

You're not in control of this thing, not anymore.

-

When you come around this time its with someone holding your head tight against something and someone else pinning your legs down.

Someone- Orem- says “I think hes calmed down” and you guess that that's it's his chest that your head is being held to.

After a moment the pressure on your legs is gone and then you guess Orem let's go of your head because it falls right onto the ground, given that you don't have the strength to hold it up yourself, right now.

You're exhausted, and in pain, mostly it's your hands and mouth but the rest of you kind of feels like a giant itch that you can't scratch.

And your throat hurts, too. You must have been screaming or something.

 

Though there is an upside. For the first time in quite a while you feel like you're a little bit in control. Like the soul wore itself out. It'll come back though, you can feel it.

 

As much as you would like to sleep right now you force yourself, if only just, to turn your your head away from the ground and ask, 'what did I do?”

Your voice is almost gone, hardly a whisper but someone must of herd it because they're trying to help you sit up. They end up rolling you onto your back, instead.

 

Its Orem again, you think, who says,” you weren't _dangerous,_ if that's what you're worried about. Not to anyone but yourself, really.”

 

And then you look down because someone is touching you to see Randus, already bandaging the long gashes on your palms that you imagine came from your own talons.

Then you look back up to Orem who has blood on his robes , but its not his, it's yours, from where you've you've bit through your lip. Ouch.

 

All you _really_ want is a nap. But Trelle and Orem are talking over each other, she's worried and he's looking for answers.

You take a deep breath, to try and explain maybe a little, to get them to be quiet, and Torq hushes the both of them.

It's hard to talk for more than a few words at a time and your mouth tastes like blood. You say, 'the raven queen' all quiet and cracking.

 

And everyone who doesn't say _“what ?_ ” gives you an odd look so you continue, “her soul”

More strange looks.

 

Right. You never told them, did you? Which complicates this.

Torq asks, “Is she still mad at you?”

You're too exhausted to explain from the beginning. You say, “Not exactly. I'll explain later”

And you close your eyes and sigh. Someone curses.

 

Before you’re too far gone you feel someone pick you up, Torq, you'd guess by the armor jabbing into your back. It's the most uncomfortable rest you've ever had, but you sleep.

-

When you wake up this time it's over Trelle's shoulder with a cramp in your stomach and a pounding in your head. You shift some, and she asks, “are you awake? can you walk?”

 

You shouldn't, but you _can_ , so you say, “yeah” and she sets you down.

 

It's almost morning now, and the five of you are almost inside a village that was down the road from where you had camped earlier.

You remember vaguely someone mentioning an inn, and getting a proper rest.

 

All is silent and everyone's looking at you.

You know why, of course you know why, you're a bundle of nerves and sweat and feathers that you can't even hide anymore.

 

You put on your best smirk, say, “what's with the staring?”

Its not convincing, your voice is still ragged and no one so much as chuckles.

There's a long moment of silence and your smile is gone.

Trelle asks, “do we need to find another druid?”

You say, “I think a priest would be better”

Torq grunt and you add, “Of the Raven Queen, I mean”

 

And then, slowly, as you're walking, you tell them. How back before you destroyed the void cyst the Raven Queen challenged you, let you win a part of her soul.

 

And then how you lost control, and well...

Well what did you do, anyways?

 

And Trelle says ”you screamed mostly, and curled up on yourself. We thought you were in pain! When Torq tried to help it got worse and we didn't know what to do!”

She doesn't seem to be lying, no one seems hurt.

 

Randus asks, “what _should_ we do then? To help?”

 

There's already a niggling doubt in your stomach. This is going to happen again, it's going to be worse.

You say, “I'll figure it out”

 

They all look skeptical, but no one challenges you. They're in no better a place than you are to figure this out, and your place isn't very good at all.

-

 

You wait until a little bit after midnight, quietly pack your things and head out of the inn. You don’t attract any attention this time.

 

The goal is to be long gone before they notice and Trelle starts tracking you. You didn't leave a note this time. You hope they don’t waste too much time going after you.

 

As for where? The nearest town you know of with a temple to the Raven Queen is weeks away on foot. It's not the best idea, but it's your only idea, and it's only shot you have at figuring this out.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

It had gone like this:

Something had happened to Ket. Something had gone wrong inside of him that made the feathers come back, that gave him claws, and teeth sharp enough to bite through his own lips.

He had said something about The Raven Queen’s soul, about how he had won it and how now he was loosing control of it.

He had said he would figure it out.

None of them had bought that,  _he_  didn’t even seem to be convinced that he had a handle on it. But none of them knew had the first idea on how they could help either, so they let it be.

( They expected it to get worse, but they also expected that they’d be able to work through it. He had been panicked, sure, but he had figured it out before)

It’s both a surprise, and not suprising at all when he’s gone the next morning. There’s no backpack, no bird, no note, no nothing.

They gather themselves that morning, and wait. After a whileTrelle says, “Maybe its his spooky tournament”

The rest of them nod along. That’s the hope, at least, but they all know that he tried to leave last night. They had  _hoped_ he wouldn’t try again, not so soon, at least, and certainly not once they’d shown they weren’t afraid. But the fact remains: his things are gone with him.

They wait an hour, then two, and soon enough it’s nearly noon and there’s still no sign of him.

Torq is frustrated, he paces back and forth and it’s clear that wants to get moving, to go  _find_  him and punch him until whatever is wrong with him is fixed.

The rest of them fidget. Randus drums his his fingers on the metal of him arm, and the little  _plink plink plink_  does nothing to ease the tension- he jumps when Orem suddenly steps forward and announces, “I’m going to try a sending”

The rest of him watch as he casts it, and as he says in a near toneless voice, “Ket. Where are you? Is everything alright?”

After a moment Orem sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“He said no. And not to go after him.”

Torq stops pacing and grunts. “So, we’re goin’ after him, then”

Orem nods, decision made even if the others are pensive about it. As they gather their things Trelle stops and pipes up, “If he doesn’t want us to follow him…”

But Torq shakes his head, “He’s needin’ our help. I don’t think he wants it, but I think we ought ta give it to him, anyways”

She chews her lip, and then nods.

“I guess so. But how can we help him if we don’t know where he is?”

Randus, who’s been ready to go since morning, bows his head,”I… think I might have an idea of where he’s gone off to.”

It’s a town, a week away on foot, and as far as they can figure has the closest temple to the Raven Queen.

Trelle picks up his track easily once they’re out of town- he’s obviously taking the fastest path, and taking no care to cover his tracks.

She says, “I don’t know how much of a head start he has on us, but he’s gotta rest sometime, right?”

-

The first sending comes just before afternoon.

Ket had been waiting for it- in fact it came later than he expected.

Hopefully that means he got a decent head start on them.

Well,  _hopefully_ they won’t follow him at all. He knows that he’s left quite the trail- if they want to follow him, they can, but he’s walked through the night to make up for it.

So when the second sending comes, around sunset and in Randus’s voice this time, saying “Ket, please just wait up for us, we’re trying to help” he responds, “ No. Just, don’t bother.”

He knows that they wont stop coming after him now. Which means if he wants to loose them he’s got to do something else.

 _This,_  staying up all night, walking through it with no rest,  _this_ is what he’s got on them. And it’s not good for him. As he grows more tired the feather grow longer. He’s loosing his grip again, he knows it, but all he has to do it make it to the temple, to find some answers, before it goes bad.

And if it does, well, it  _would_  be much harder for him to hurt anyone out in the forest like he is. If only he didn’t have pursuers.

-

It’s an exhausting game of cat and mouse. They can’t catch up to him, but they know exactly where he’s going.

They’re disheartened. It’s Trelle who puts it in to words- on their third day following him she just stops, stands up from where she’s bent over tracking him and sighs. She says, “I don’t feel right about this. He doesn’t even  _want_ us to go after him.”

She looks miserable, and rubs her arms like it’s cold. They all feel that guilt.

True enough he doesn’t- “But”, says Randus, “He needs help. And I guess we can’t really give it to him, but we can support him while he figures it out, if he’ll let us. I think… I think he’s just afraid”

And there’s the other thing. There needs to be people there who can stop people from dying if things go horribly, horribly wrong.

“And”, he adds, “At the very least I think we should have a proper goodbye”

Trelle nods, “Right. Right. A proper goodbye”

-

And so they follow him for four more days. Trelle will say, “I think he stopped here, for a while” or ,”He probably got caught in these brambles” but they never see a sign that he made a camp or rested for longer than a few minutes.

Randus tries a few more sendings but the only responses he gets are, “Stop”,

Ket sounds more and more ragged each time.

It’s worrying to say the least.

-

More worrying is the temple, when they finally get there.

It’s built on the top of a cliff- and he thing is about to collapse. There’ are holes in the roof and the whole thing tilts dangerously in the wind.

It’s obviously abandoned, has been probably since the lunar event, if not before.

Ket had gotten here a day before them, at least, and now they worry if he stayed.

 

The place hadn’t been all that impressive to start with, but with half the floor covered in debris it’s positively claustrophobic.

But, Trelle points out a track in the dust, he’s been here, hopefully he’s  _still_ here.

Orem clears his throat, “So, we search the place. Just be ready to deal with whatever we find.”

They go down together. Each room is tiny but the farther down they go the more there are. They would almost certainly get lost were it not for that track through the dust. It seems he knew exactly where he was going.

It leads down, down, far past the base of the cliff to somewhere totally underground. And the farther down they go, the colder it gets.

And then, at the very bottom is a short hall and a doorway to a room with an altar- a big one with a pale gray fire still burning in the brazier on it. More importantly is what’s in front of it.

It looks, at first, like a pile of feathers but as they step into the room it moves, backs away from them.

Ket’s face is the only thing left not obscured by feathers- his arms are longer, claws sharper. It’s hard to tell in the relative darkness but it looks like he has wings.

His eyes are different, too- gold, practically glowing, the pupils are now slitted, and as thin as they can go.

They all stop, watch him as he moves on all fours to back himself into a corner.

For a long moment there is silence, and then, carefully, Randus squats down and very softly asks, “Ket?”

There is no recognition in his eyes. Every little movement is either from fear or animal instinct. Very, carefully, trying to to make a sudden moment the rest of them follow suit with Randus, all but Torq put their weapons away.

Torq  _does_  lower his axe, “Can ya talk?”

Ket’s eyes lock onto the orc- he shifts his weight back , and does nothing more. Not a peep.

Trelle sighs and they all look at her.

She says, “I’m going to try something”

And then starts to move forward, inch by inch, still squatting, and leaving her weapons behind her.

Orem whispers hoarsely, “Careful, he might-”

“He won’t”

She sounds so loud- it doesn’t quite echo but even her normal speaking voice makes them all almost jump.

And Ket’ is certainly focused on her now. He has nowhere to flee as she inches closer and closer.

And then, she stops. She’s close enough to touch him but doesn’t, quite. She just extends her hand, palm up till its just in front of him.

He visibly tenses and- yes, those are wings, are up high like a spooked cat raising it’s hackles. The rest of them wait, ready at a moments notice for the worst, but Trelle holds her hand steady.

They swait, tense for so long that shoulders start to ache. But, slowly, the wings come down. It’s almost imperceptible, but he starts to relax. Then, there is the long painful moment where he raises his hand- any one of his talons are bigger than the palm of Trelle’s hand, now- and mimes her. Hand out, palm up, and eyes locked on her, almost seeming to ask if he’s done it right.

She smiles, and still making no sudden movements, takes that hand in hers. The rest of them let out a breath and the worst of the tension is gone.

Now, as she helps him stand up, the look in his eyes is more curiosity than fear.

He’s not going to attack them, they can tell that, now, but that doesn’t change the fact that the look of  _blankness_  on his face is one that Ket would never have. That looks somehow  _wrong_  on him.

And, that now that he’s upright, even with a slight hunch, Ket now stands a full inch taller than Torq. He’s  _massive._ Though Trelle is cooing and saying ,”He’s like a giant  _kitten”_ puts a bit of a damper on that realization.

Ket lets Trelle lead him back up those stairs, even lets Randus and Orem do the same as she did and take his hand – though he still shies away from Torq.

(It’s the axe, Trelle insists, he wont come near unless you let it go. And of course, he wont)

They’re eager to leave the temple, but now that they’re up, night-time has fallen. There’s a chill in the air- it’s strange to see it, but Ket fluffs his feathers against the cold like its the most natural thing in the world.

They watch him as he looks at the moon like its something new to him.

Orem sounds tired now when he says to Randus, “So what  _happened_? How are we going to help him _now?_ ”

Randus sighs, “I… I don’t know. We should try to keep him with us, but in the meantime-”

“Oh” says Trelle, ,sounding oddly cheerful about it all, “don’t sound like that. I”m sure you’ll figure something out”

“Right”says Randus as he shares a look with Orem, “Sure”


End file.
